


Soft Pretzels and Escalators

by chrisevansisanassman



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Shopping Malls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-03 09:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10964352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisevansisanassman/pseuds/chrisevansisanassman
Summary: Steve is a lanky, awkward salesman at Foot Locker who hasn't sold one pair of shoes yet. Bucky is a charming sales associate at Bath and Bodyworks. They work in the same mall, but they rarely see each other. However, one day, one of Bucky's middle-aged coworkers asks him out and he's desperate to not hurt her feelings. This is exactly how Bucky and Steve find themselves pretending to be dating even if they hardly know each other.





	1. are you gonna buy something?

“Well, uh… I mean, I think that I’d keep looking if I were you. I wouldn’t want you to not like them, you know? I can tell you’re not one hundred percent sure, and l-”

“Steve. Can I speak with you for a moment?”

Steve looked over to see his manager, Sam, staring back at him with a disappointed face.

“Of course,” he mumbled. Then he turned to his customer, a middle aged woman searching for shoes for her son’s birthday. “One moment please, I’ll be right back.”

She smiled back sweetly, but as Steve walks away to talk to Sam, she left the store.

“Dude, no offense, but you’re the worst salesman ever. You totally could’ve gotten a sale there! Now she’s just gonna go to the Shoe Carnival or something.”

Steve shrugged, not knowing what to say. He settled on saying, “Hey, I got my shoes there,” with a forced smile.

Sam was not impressed. “Listen, kid, you’re sweet as pie, but clearly too sweet.”

Steve sighed heavily, knowing that this talk was coming. He’s blown every sale thrown his way by not pushing products on the customers. There’s just always something wrong--- the shoes are a little too tight or too loose, they’re not exactly the right model or color they were looking for, there’s a small factory defect--- and Steve just can’t let them spend all that money on anything less than perfection.

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for the customers.”

“I know, but you’ve got bills to pay, too. I told you that most of your paycheck comes from commissions.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll try harder.”

He slapped his hand on Steve’s shoulder, giving him a bright smile. “That’s the spirit. I believe in you, kid!”

He walked away for a moment, but turned around instantly when he saw a new customer in the store. “Steve, this is it. Do  _ not  _ let him leave without him buying a pair of shoes. Alright?”

Steve began cursing in his head relentlessly. Not only was this a difficult task for him, the man who had just walked in was unbelievably hot. Muscular body, stylishly long, black hair, and a face chiseled by the gods. Steve had seen him before one time when he was on break and wandered into Bath and Body Works. The guy was working there, surrounded by hoards of middle aged woman swooning over him and his candles. 

It was also a very bad memory. While distracted by the man’s gorgeous face, Steve had accidentally knocked over a whole display pyramid of small hand sanitizers that probably took a long time to set up. It was disastrous. Everyone had looked over at him with a dirty look on their face, judging him mercilessly.

Steve was sure that the man had already forgotten his face, though. After all, he saw tons of people daily, and he was pretty sure plenty of them made silly mistakes like that, too.

So he rushed over to the Adidas section where the man was casually browsing. “Hello, Sir, is there anything I can help you with today?”

He turned around and smiled once he saw his face. “Hey, you’re the guy who knocked over all those hand sanitizers that one time?”

His heart sank in his chest. “Um, I don’t, uh, exactly recall this event.”

He shook his head determinedly. “Nope, it was definitely you. I remember the Foot Locker shirt and everything.”

“Well, uh, you know, lots of people work here.”

“No, I remember your face.”  
“It’s a pretty common face and-”

The man began laughing. “Hey, I’m just messing with you, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or anything. Lots of people knock things over.”

Steve cracked a smile, looking down to the ground, feeling quite childish. Was he really so intimidated by this man’s beauty that he lied to him about some hand sanitizers?

He put out his hand, “I’m Steve.”

The man reciprocated, “Bucky.”

_ Bucky?  _ All this time Steve had imagined him as a  _ Damien  _ or  _ Wes  _ or  _ Christopher.  _ You know, something hot and irresistible. But, no. His name was Bucky.

“Must be nice working here, lots of cool stuff to look at,” Bucky commented while absentmindedly checking out the shelves.

“Well, I’m not really a big Shoes Guy, if I’m being honest. You’re job sounds better to me; good smells and old ladies fawning over me. My place of employment smells like dirty feet, and the only lady who fawns over me is my mother.”

Bucky let out a deep, warm laugh that enchanted Steve to no end. “So you’re into old ladies? Duly noted.”

Steve felt himself blushing embarrassedly. “No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just, uh, you know…”

He smiled genuinely, “I’m just messing around. I totally get what you mean. It’s definitely interesting. A lot of regulars who keep me updated on their kids and their dogs and their gardens. Always something new.”

“Sounds like it,” Steve said with a laugh. He mistakenly looked over to see Sam watching him from the corner. His eyes widened, and he mouthed  _ ‘sell the shoes’  _ at him. Steve shrugged with an awkward expression on his face, causing Sam to more animatedly mouth  _ ‘SELL’  _ at him.

Steve was flustered and scared, causing him to blurt out loudly, “Are you gonna buy something?”

Bucky looked over slowly, furrowing his eyebrows. “Umm… I mean, I sorta just came in to browse. I, uh, I’m sorry if I’m wasting your time.”

“No, no, I-I didn’t mean it like that. I just... was wondering if you needed something in particular.”  
For yet another time today, Steve had embarrassed himself in front of the hot Bath and Bodyworks employee. 

He sighed heavily. “Sorry, it’s just, my manager scared me for a second. Truth be told, I’m pretty shitty at this whole ‘salesman’ thing.”

“Not easy to sell overpriced shoes in this economy?”

“Nope. Definitely not when you try and convince them they can get them cheaper at Payless.”

Bucky laughed. “Aww, jeez. That  _ is  _ rough. Well, it is your lucky day. I’ve been eyeing these for a while, and I think that this is a sign that it’s finally time to pull the trigger and just get ‘em.”

He held up the Stan Smith’s, and Steve internally sighed. Of course this insanely cool guy was getting such insanely cool shoes. 

“Oh, please, don’t just get these because you think I want you to, or something. I-”

“No. I definitely want these.” He picked up the box, waving it around in the air, yelling over to Sam, “I’d like these fine shoes.”

Steve groaned. “Fine, fine, I’ll check you out.”  _ Not that I don’t usually try and check you out. _

They moved over to the register, and Bucky purchased the shoes. 

“Good job, Steve!” Sam yelled with a proud smile.

“Truly your finest salesman, convinced me without a doubt to get these.”

Sam raised his eyebrows and gave two thumbs up to Steve. “Glad our amazing employee could help you today.”

Bucky signed the receipt smiling up to Steve. “Thanks,” he said quietly before taking his shoes and leaving.

Steve’s heart beated quickly as he relived the whole conversation in his head. He got all embarrassed by the stupid things he said, suddenly thinking up tons of better, cooler responses that he could have given. 

Once he was done regretting everything, he looked down at the receipt to find a note scrawled on it by the signature. 

_ Come by B&B sometime and I’ll introduce you to some hot grandmas. _

***

“James, can you sweep over there by the hand soaps? Some kid spilled their cheerios everywhere.”

Bucky wasn’t exactly listening, instead keeping a watchful eye on the door.

Tina scoffed to herself. She walked closer and slapped his arm playfully. “Did you hear me?”

He was jolted back into Bath and Bodyworks reality. “Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say?”

She rolled her eyes, pointing to the mess of Cheerios on the ground.

“Oh, of course,” he murmured heading to the back to grab a broom.

It was a slow Monday afternoon, and Bucky thought he was going to lose his mind. He just kept staring at the door waiting… But, of course, the guy probably was straight and got the wrong idea and was never going to come near the store again.  _ Every time _ .

Bucky began sweeping up the mess, part of him wishing he himself had a bowl of Cheerios.

“What’s been up with you today?” 

He shrugged.

Tina got a big, smug smile on her face. “Out partying all night?”

“What? On Sunday night?”

“Well, I don’t know what you kids get up to these days.”

Tina was Bucky’s manager, a smiley woman, probably in her thirties. She just got out of a pretty heavy divorce, and she had already adopted two cats. A nice enough woman, Bucky felt bad for her most days, and he hoped she’d find someone new to fill the loveless void in her life. Lately, though, something about her has been off…

Just yesterday a couple of girls from the nearby college, the same on that most workers Bucky’s age attended (including him), came in. They were buying perfume, but mostly just flirting with Bucky. He bit back, always a fun game for him. The second Tina saw it, she pulled him aside and wrote him up for flirting with customers, something he routinely did without punishment.

Ever since then he’s been trying to tiptoe around her delicately.

“What do you do on… say a Monday night?” Tina asked, leaning against the counter with a sweet smile on her face as Bucky dumped the dustpan into the trash.

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows in a worried confusion. “Um, well, I usually go to my econ class… then I just study, work on papers… you know, stuff like that.”

“Oh,” she mumbled, looking down disappointedly. “Well, everyone skips a class or two, right? I was thinking… there’s that new movie coming out, you know the one, right? Something about love?”

Bucky tilted his head in thought. “Loveless War?”  
Tina cringed. “No, no... I think it’s a new Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Either way… I don’t have anyone to go with… maybe a handsome gentleman like you would like to escort me? As a date, of course. But don’t worry, I’ll pay for popcorn.”

Oh no…. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This was  _ not  _ happening. Bucky couldn’t date a woman over fifteen years older than him! She had a kid! He just couldn’t. Not when he was in his prime, a twenty two year old college student. Nope. He couldn’t. Not to mention, he was gay.

“Um, well, uh… the thing is…”

Tina’s smile faded quickly. “Let me guess, you’re already dating someone?”

Oh, god. Was he really about to lie to this woman in order to spare her fragile feelings? Hell yes.

“Yes.”

Tina groaned to herself. “All the good ones are already taken, huh. Who’s the lucky girl?”

Bucky, in a state of panic, couldn’t think of one girl’s name to use. He couldn’t think of any names at all. His mind was in a complete blank. He looked around desperately, trying to think of something,  _ anything,  _ when he saw someone entering the store. 

All at once, against any better judgement, he blurted out, “Steve!”


	2. an apology dinner

Steve paused suddenly in the doorway of Bath & Bodyworks when he heard his name yelled out. Startled, he looked to the back counter to see Bucky staring at him with wide eyes, next to a middle aged woman with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Come here!” Bucky yelled to him with a wide grin.

Steve walked through the empty store hesitantly. If anything, he  _ was  _ relieved; a part of him was worried that Bucky wasn’t going to even remember his name. As he walked, he noticed the lady whisper something to Bucky, and Bucky shrugging in reply.

“W-what’s up?” Steve asked nervously, now standing in front of the two. He couldn’t help but be happy that his crush was so excited to see him, but the situation was so odd that it was making him anxious.

Bucky reached over and grabbed him, placing his arm around his shoulder, pulling him in closely. Steve, confused as hell, just hoped that Bucky didn’t feel his racing pulse. 

“Tina, this is Steve. We’ve been dating for a couple weeks now. I just never said anything about it because… well, you know.”

_ Dating?! _

Tina grinned happily. “You should know that I am perfectly fine with the gays, James. You know how much I love the Property Brothers.” 

Bucky shrugged.

_ The Property Brothers?! _

“I’m happy for you two! You make a lovely pair.”

_ A lovely pair?! _

“Thank you! I think we look pretty cute together, too,” Bucky replied, pulling Steve in even closer.

Steve could smell the cologne on Bucky’s neck, pressed against his muscular chest, and he felt like he could die happily there. 

“Well, I guess we’re not going on that date then, huh?” Tina asked with a sad smile. 

Suddenly it clicked in Steve’s mind. The lady must have asked Bucky out and so he had to make up an excuse as to why he couldn’t. And Steve’s timing must’ve been impeccable; he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or was it the right place?  Steve couldn’t quite yet decide, but he  _ did  _ know that tucked beneath Bucky’s tricep definitely  _ felt  _ like the right place.

“Yeah, well,” Bucky mumbled. “If you ever wanted a double date, me and my honey are always there.”

It was clearly a pity offer.  _ There’s no way she’ll accept that. _

“How about tonight?” 

Bucky’s eyes widened only slightly, concealing his shock and worry. They shared an odd look of hesitation, then Bucky announced, quite confidently, “We’ll be there.”

“Hey, Buck,” Steve said, pushing himself out from underneath his arm, finally having enough. “Can I talk to you for a minute… alone?”

It was clear that Bucky’s plan was falling apart horrendously. It was also clear that he did  _ not  _ want to have the conversation that Steve intended to have right then.

“Babe, I’m sorta working right now,” Bucky muttered quietly to him.

Tina scoffed. “You can take your break right now!”

Steve gave Bucky a smug grin. “Yeah,  _ babe _ . You can get me a soft pretzel. You know how much I love those.”

“Aww,” Tina gushed. “You two are absolutely adorable.”

Bucky laughed through gritted teeth. “What a great idea.”

Steve wondered if Tina noticed how uncomfortable the two of them were being, but something told him that she wasn’t exactly great at social cues. Bucky clocked out for his break, and the they headed towards Wetzel Pretzel with hands entwined.

The second they left Tina’s earshot, Steve began whisper-yelling at Bucky. “What the  _ hell  _ was that? You do realize that we’re not dating, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky groaned. “I panicked, and you were the first person I saw, so your name was the first one that came out of my mouth. It’s just, Tina’s really, really sweet, but she’s probably old enough to be my mom! She has two kids herself, and I’m not ready to be a dad, Steve! Especially not a stepdad!”

Steve stared at him with wide, bewildered eyes. “Why couldn’t you just tell her that instead of lying to her and creating some fake boyfriend?”

“Sometimes lying is the better thing to do. Tina gets turned down a lot, and she’s been so sad since her divorce. I just couldn’t say that to her. I’m sorry for dragging you into this, I really am. I should’ve just said some girl from our school or something.”

Steve felt his heart drop slightly. So he  _ was  _ straight. Nevertheless, Steve  _ did  _ understand where he was coming from, and he was glad that he didn’t outright reject Tina. She did seem like a nice lady. If anything, it was quite flattering that he would even be able to consider that they could be dating.

Bucky ordered him his soft pretzel, watching him eat it with a small smile. “Listen, I promise I’ll give her some excuse as to why we really can’t go out for dinner tonight. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“Thanks,” Steve mumbled, for some reason a little disappointed. He wouldn’t really mind dinner with Bucky. To be fair, he was hoping that he would get asked out. Not necessarily like this, but still. 

He looked down to his watch, realizing that he was also late getting back from his break. “I, uh, should get going.”

Bucky apologized again, then accompanied him back to the Foot Locker.

 

***

 

“He probably thinks I’m crazy!” 

“Stop being such a drama queen.”

Bucky groaned to himself, his hands over his face in shame. “I was gonna say no, I really was. But then she looked at me with those sad eyes, and I just couldn’t break her heart again!”  
“You’re a total pushover,” Natasha remarked as she pulled a sweater on over her shirt that read “The Children’s Place” in big pink letters and grabbed her bag. 

Natasha was Bucky’s closest friend since childhood. So much so that they decided to go to the same college together. They figured getting jobs at the same store was a bit overkill, so they settled on the same mall. You know, for carpooling purposes. 

Bucky, after finishing his shift, ran to Natasha and told the whole absurd story. As expected, Natasha rolled her eyes throughout in total disbelief. 

“So, you promised Foot Locker Boy that you were gonna cancel the plans and then did the complete opposite?”  
She said goodbye to her fellow coworkers on her way out, and they began walking through the mall.

“More or less, yeah. Tina was just so excited about it. She already got Tim to go with her, you know, to make it a double date. And I know how much she’s wanted to go on a date… I didn’t wanna hurt her feelings again. Oh, and you  _ know  _ his name. You don’t have to keep calling him that.”

Natasha had been calling him Foot Locker Boy since Bucky told her all about him a few days ago. She did it just to annoy him.

“So now we’re going over there so you can tell him how bad you fucked up?”

Bucky nodded. “Yes.”

She just shook her head, a little smile on her face. “I can’t wait to meet your new boyfriend.”

“Haha, very funny,” Bucky muttered bitterly.

“So he wasn’t weird about the fact that you’re both guys?”

“He didn’t really mention it. He just looked really confused and out of breath the whole time. And a little mad.”

They found themselves in front of Foot Locker, and Bucky stopped just before the entrance, too scared to walk in. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. 

Natasha groaned, grabbing onto his arm and dragging him inside the store. “You have to deal with the issues you make.”

He tried to squirm away, but Nat’s grip was relentlessly strong. Just as he was about to break free, Steve spotted them. It appeared he was also getting off for the day.

“Hey!” Natasha yelled with a big smile. “Are you Steve?”

He looked scared of her, which most people were. Rightly so. He nodded cautiously.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Natasha. Bucky’s bestie. For life. Heard you were his boyfriend?”

Bucky couldn’t help but notice the blush that began to form on Steve’s face. 

“It was just a misunderstanding,” he muttered. 

She gave a little chuckle. “Wait ‘til you hear this other ‘misunderstanding’.”

Bucky had never hated her more than in this moment. But it was not in his nature to just give up and accept defeat. And it definitely was not in his nature to just let Natasha win.

“I was wondering if you would want to get dinner with me tonight. As an apology for this whole… issue today. I know it was really awkward, and I think it would be good for me to treat you to a good meal.”

Steve bit his lip in contemplation. “Well, gee, I’d love to, but you know I’ve got a girlfriend. Her name’s Tina.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You’re  _ hilarious _ .”

He giggled to himself. “Yeah, I am. I’ll go… but only if there’s a milkshake involved.”

“How does Applebee's sound?” Natasha interjected.

Steve looked over to her with furrowed eyebrows, almost having forgot she was there at all. “Is this a group thing?”

“Nope!” Bucky exclaimed, trying to remain calm. “Nat won’t be there. It’s just… my favorite restaurant. She knows that, of course.”

“I didn’t think Applebee’s was anyone’s favorite restaurant.”

Natasha laughed. “I like this kid.”

“Applebee’s at 7 sound good, then?” Bucky asked, desperate to end this conversation and get Natasha as far away from Steve as possible.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve replied.

Bucky grinned, already pulling Natasha out of the store with him. “It’s a date!”

 

***

 

_ A date?! With the hot guy from Bath & Bodyworks?!  _

Steve had to stop himself from hyperventilating. To be fair, he kept reminding himself, it wasn’t actually a date, and he had only called it that considering their status as fake boyfriends. Just a nice apology dinner with the best looking guy at the mall.

As he drove to the restaurant,  he mulled over what he was wearing, and whether or not he should stop at the grocery store and get some flowers. Is that… too gay? Or would it just be magnanimous gesture that would show how much of a forgiving gentleman he was?

Probably too gay. He decided that he was going to do it anyways. He also decided that his white button up shirt was perfect; classy yet casual. He wondered what Bucky was going to wear.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, that question was answered. He found Bucky leaning against what must have been his car in his Bath & Bodyworks uniform. The sun was setting in front of him, coloring the sky in pastels and shining golden light on his face. With that bone structure, he looked something like a Greek god.

Suddenly, Steve felt a little embarrassed for changing at all. At least, however, as Bucky saw him pull in, he took off the little apron.

“Hey,” he said, poking his head through the open window of Steve’s car. He noticed the flowers in the passenger seat. “Are those for me?”

Now Steve felt  _ really  _ embarrassed. He should have known better than to get the stupid flowers. “Uh, yeah. I don’t know… they were on sale, and I thought they’d make you feel better after the weird day you must have had with your manager and everything.”

Bucky reached into his pocket with a big smile. “I got you something, too!”

Steve was beginning to feel better about his odd choice of a gift. Maybe the flowers weren’t such a bad idea after all. Maybe bros just get their bros flowers sometimes.

“Just for you,” Bucky announced, handing him a handful of Bath & Body Works hand sanitizers. “I know how much you like them.”

Never mind. Steve was mortified again. “It was an accident,” he muttered as he turned off his car and got out. “So why Applebee’s of all places?”

“Right, about that…” Bucky began hesitantly. “It’s kinda a funny story, actually.”

Steve didn’t like the sound of that. 

As he tried to begin to explain how he couldn’t actually tell Tina that they weren’t available for a double dinner date, Tina and Tim showed up.

“Hey, kids!” She yelled, smiling like a fool. She was in a dress made for a girl twelve years younger than her with lipstick smudged on her teeth. Tim, the gruff manager of Old Navy, waved, too, his other arm linked with Tina’s.

Steve was  _ furious _ . “I thought this was an “apology dinner?” What is she doing here?”

He first ignored the question, waving back to the couple, ushering them over. Then, quietly, he whispered in a rush, “I meant to, but she got excited and convinced Tim to come with her and I just couldn’t say no after all of that, I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” Steve responded through gritted teeth.

“I thought you’d say no.”

Finally, the couple was in earshot, and they couldn’t keep fighting anymore. 

It was going to be a long night.


	3. 2 for $20 Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowwowowwwww I am so sorry, guys. I did not mean to not update in so long. I got distracted by graduation, then college orientation, then my open house, and just a whole bunch of work. Sorry. will not get so behind again.

Steve couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. On one hand, he hated being lied to and used, but on the other hand, he understood why Bucky did what he did. He also kinda sorta maybe liked pretending to be his boyfriend. A lot of PDA. Which, even if it was fake, was still fun.

“Hey, hun, are we doing drinks tonight?” Bucky asked as the group took their seats and began looking through the menu.

Steve did his best to hold in his scoff. “ _ I _ am.”

“So how did you two meet?” Tina asked once everyone was settled.

Bucky and Steve’s eyes met, wide with sudden fear. Neither of them had apparently anticipated the question, so the answer was going to require a bit of improvisation skills and coordination. Unfortunately, they did not have those skills.

At the same time, Bucky said, “The mall,” and Steve said, “College.”

Underneath the table, Steve may or may not have kicked Bucky a little. Only lightly. Luckily, Tina laughed it off, and Tim didn’t seem to notice with his head stuck in the menu.

“You boys are hilarious!”

“Well, we met at college, but we got close while working at the same mall, you know.” Steve explained confidently, a good cover up for their accident.

She just nodded along with a smile. “Really? That’s so interesting, because I don’t recall seeing you around a lot, Steve.”

Bucky chimed in this time. “Well, uh, usually we would see each other on our way in or out, or during our breaks. Usually we have similarly timed shifts. Lots of Wetzel's Pretzels.”  
“Oh, those are yummy,” Tina commented, completely glossing over the illegitimacy of their story. “Never try and save one and warm it up the next day. Just tastes like old rubber with salt on it. You know what I mean?”

Steve nodded instantly. “Rookie mistake.”  
They shared a laugh, and Bucky finally felt as though he could calm down a little. What he really wanted to do was shift the attention from them elsewhere.

“So, how’re the kids, Tina?”

She sighed heavily. “Don’t even get me started, James. They’ve been quite the handful recently.”

Before she could continue her rant on her children, the waiter finally came around to collect their drink orders. Bucky ordered a Coke, Tim got a beer, and Tina and Steve ordered the fruitiest cocktail on the menu. 

“So, Buck,” Steve began, looking through the menu. “Wanna do this two for ten deal with the appetizers? We can pick out some and share them.”

If he was being honest, Bucky didn’t care what he ordered. He just wanted to get through this meal without revealing the fact that him and Steve hadn’t been dating for weeks. If he hurt Tina’s feelings, he would never enjoy another shift at Bath & Bodyworks again.

“Uh, sure,” he replied. “You can pick them out.”

“Aw, what a gentleman,” Tina noted gleefully.

Steve had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Maybe the queso and chips, mini tacos, onion rings, and mozzarella sticks?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” Bucky interjected. Maybe he _did_ care about what they got. “Let’s get the salsa instead of the queso.”  
He did not like the sound of that. “Salsa instead of queso? Are you serious? Clearly queso is better. Queso is always better.”

“Sweetie,” he said with a fake smiling, trying his best to seem amiable. “You know that I’m lactose intolerant.”

Tina made an awkward face that indicated that she definitely heard that, but fortunately didn’t say anything about it. Steve begrudgingly accepted to get salsa instead, even though he should get first picks, considering the reason why he was there at all.

The more Steve got to know Tina, the less upset he was by the situation. He was glad that Bucky didn’t have to end up hurting her feelings, even if everything felt pretty silly. Tim seemed like the guy she actually wanted to be out with, anyways, and a much more appropriate match for her. They were actually hitting it off, leaving Steve and Bucky with an uncomfortably large amount of time to themselves on the other side of the booth.

So they talked about random things, like the design of the store and the hair of their waiter and whether or not they thought the food was going to be good. At some point, Steve was brought his ridiculous cocktail-- with three tiny drink umbrellas sticking out of it-- and Bucky couldn’t help but find it adorable.

“So where was your first kiss?” Tina questioned, bringing them back into the general conversation. 

Steve wondered if her asking that was a bid to get Tim thinking about kissing her. Regardless, he decided to let Bucky answer this one by himself, so as to avoid the awkward issue from before.

He let out a tiny sigh, cursing himself for not having thought up a story before this. “Let’s see, we were… in the library, studying for a… history test. Though, let’s be real, there wasn’t a whole lot of studying going on. Anyways, Steve was, uh, making of me for having a bit of whipped cream on my face-- you know, from the frappes we were drinking-- and before I could try and wipe it off… he just leaned over and kissed me.”

Steve had to force himself to not cringe at the fictitious story. Was that really the best he could do? If anything, it was just a really weird scene you would probably find in some cheesy Hallmark movie and there’s no way that she was going to buy into that.

“Adorable!” She shrieked, much to Steve’s surprise, and he wondered if there was  _ anything  _ that would throw her off at this point.

“How’d you do on the history test?” Tim asked with a grin.

“I don’t remember…” Bucky confessed. Falsely, of course. There wasn’t even a history test in the first place.

While Steve felt that the story was awful, he did think about what it would be like to actually kiss Bucky. Then he remembered that they were  _ fake  _ boyfriends, and that even if it did happen, it would not mean anything to Bucky. 

Their food finally came around, and Steve and Bucky began eating as Tina and Tim discussed their first kisses. As bitter as he was about not getting queso, Steve actually did enjoy the salsa and chips. As Steve was shifting the plates around on the table, a salsa covered chip in one hand, Bucky accidentally bumped his arm into him, sending the chip flying. 

It landed directly in Bucky’s lap.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve began, hurriedly trying to clean up the mess. Without even thinking about what is and is not acceptable in public, he grabbed his cloth napkin and dipped in into his spare glass of water. Then, before Bucky realized what was happening, he began to dab at the salsa stain in order to clean it up.

While he was admittedly grateful for the help, Bucky did notice the odd look that they were receiving from Tina as Steve rubbed at his crotch. He cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Thanks for the help, Stevie, but I’ve got it.”

He looked up, still focused on fixing his mistake. Looking around, though, he realized why what he was doing might have been considered weird. He began to blush from embarrassment, hoping no one thought anything of it.

“Sorry,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t mean to invade your space, I-I just wanted to help you clean up. Khakis stain and I know that those are you work clothes and,”

Bucky interrupted, laughing. “No, it’s fine, really. I understand. Thank you.”

While he played it off well, Steve couldn’t help but feel as though he had completely embarrassed Bucky, too. 

“This night really isn’t going the way I wanted it to,” Steve muttered, quiet enough that Tina couldn’t have heard it.

“What do you mean? You’ve already gotten to first base.”

Steve looked to Bucky with a serious face. “I thought kissing was first base?”

He just chuckled.

Tina looked over from whatever conversation she had been having with her date, Tim. “What are you two giggling about over there?”

Bucky and Steve shared a cheeky smile. “Just about that new Build-A-Bear Workshop opening up next to our store in the mall.”

“Ugh!” Tina groaned. “Don’t mention that. It’s just gonna attract a whole bunch of sticky-handed goblins.”

Bucky and Tina found themselves in a conversation on Bath and Body Works business, along with Tim, who was apparently a security guard at the mall. Steve wasn’t really interested in the topic, and he didn’t have anything to contribute, so he found himself finishing up his mini tacos and thinking about Bucky.

Earlier that day when he had come to Foot Locker, he brought a girl with him, and Steve could not stop thinking about who she was. He remembered her introducing herself as his best friend, but people have crushes on their best friends all the time. Did Bucky like her? They seemed really close. Then again, Steve considered, why wouldn’t he have said Natasha when asked who he was dating?

“How are you feeling?” Bucky quietly asked Steve as the conversations diverged again.

“Good, good. For such a ridiculous mess, I think this night is turning out pretty well. No major slip ups, and Tina seems really happy.”

Bucky nodded, looking over to Tina and Tim, huddled over the dessert menu, with a smile. They  _ were  _ adorable. He grabbed the second dessert menu, handing it to Steve.

“Wanna pick something for dessert?”

Steve nodded eagerly. “I was looking forward to a milkshake.”

As he debated over whipped cream or not, the waiter came around to take their dessert orders.

“One large chocolate shake with whipped cream and two straws, please,” Bucky requested confidently. 

Steve, trying not to look too bashful, wondered if sharing a milkshake was second base or not. 

Drinking from the same shake with two different straws turned out to be far more inconvenient than romantic, or even cute. They ended up accidentally hitting the straws multiple times, and there was even a moment when they were both taking sips that Tina had made some reference to an inside joke that made Bucky snort, causing a wave of chocolate shake to squirt up in Steve’s face. Bucky made sure to clean it up with a napkin, though.


End file.
